I am learning the delicate art of receiving and it is has been a journey of pushing and pulling and fighting myself. which as I write this seems absurd. The real absurdity is the programming in the world today that we can do it all. Living as though this were possible has lead to a huge energy drain in my life and I suspect in many lives. It is the unmindful art of busy-ness where finding time and quiet has to be scheduled.
The busy-ness mindset is layered with limiting beliefs of value and importance. One year ago, my work as the Newtown Clinical Recovery Leader ended. It was the first time in my career when I wasn’t employed by someone. I didn’t have a job to report to and I no longer had a steady paycheck. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. I did have my part-time private counseling practice and found myself with more time off than I truly knew what to do with. I immersed myself in creating a website, writing blogs and doing all the things “I was supposed to do” to build my practice.
I have a beautiful website but, I haven’t built a following through it.
Here’s the thing – I was so busy doing, I didn’t create it from my truest, most authentic myself. That’s hard to admit. I’ve spent the past few months going within, seeking clarity and welcoming support. You’ll begin to see and feel shifts here in the coming months as I work my way through the content to best reflect my true and highest self.
I’ve been playing with the energies of receiving support in every-day actions. My standard response when someone offers help is “Nope ! I’ve got it!”. That response is deeply embedded into my self-worth and a need to prove myself. It’s also exhausting and holding me from being the best version of me. I am working on my awareness of this tendency and offering myself compassion when it arises.
I’ve witnessed a real shift in my yoga practice as we have been working on practicing poses with and without support. The process of tuning in and noticing the moment within the breath and within the posture where support would actually deepen and enhance my practice has been illuminating and deeply healing.
Virabhadrasana, commonly known as the Warrior Pose is a series of standing/balancing poses. Warrior III is the deepest balancing pose of the series. Practicing it against the wall allows me to sink deeply into the strength and grounding of the pose in a way I otherwise am unable to. Experimenting with my hand or fingertips against the wall allows me to find my edge – the place where I can comfortably breathe and yet expand in the pose.
Standing strong in Warrior,
I am at peace
I am strong
I receive with the open heart of a warrior.